BORING SHIIIET

Siblings. Not just a Bickering Rant no more.

Tonight I talked to my sister tabitha about all this drama that has been happening and to be honest i know she wouldnt give me the time of day to talk to her. I Basically told her i was sorry for everything i’ve done and how it was affecting me and my girlfriend. To be honest i really thought i was getting somewhere and like i was telling her how i feel and just wanted to hear what she would have to say. She was on her fone and play games .. i felt very offended. When i asked her how most of these problems started she’d tell me how it mostly unintentional like it wasnt her fault for it happening. Then again i believed her and told her that i didnt want us to fight like this no more. She barely said anything to me. When i asked her if she had anything to say about it .. she said theres nothing to talk about. That made me kind of fustrated and mad inside. But this wasnt a time whre i wanted to burst out in anger like i always do towards her. I felt like she had no remorse toward her action because she “didnt do it”. That whole time i felt like is this working? Will this ever end? My friends .. scratch that our friends, i didnt know they felt this way toward me and my girlfriend but i was surprised to see it mostly lash out upon my girlfriend. i couldnt believe it was mostly towards her as i felt like it wasnt just about her it was about me too. i knew that every pain she feel i will feel also and i couldnt see her like this. The people i knew who supposedly said this stuff must not really no us because it was all biased. ALL BIASED. Why couldnt they talk to us. If they were scared please i wish they would just keep it to themselves but i know that it too much to ask for. Finding out one of my closest friends lash out on her over the internet crushed me inside. Me writing this right now on the internet is on the basis of total and utter fustration of my sister and the treatment she gives me. She tells me that she needs time to think about all of this. I dont want time i want you tell me the truth, how you feel, tell me how angry you are at me and my girlfriend. Give me a sign because .. i just want to talk to you. I never wanted drama. I didnt want us to split up. Im almost out of highschool going to graduate soon and the friends i thought were real to me and know me …. arent as such anymore. Then again im not like that and i love most my friends but sometimes there are some friends you have in your life which you want to let go and some you can let go like they were never were in your life. I had to think about some friends that were dear to me and those friends who i knew didnt share any qualities with me and just saw a different or negative side in me or just werent in good terms at the time. I would say its my senior year and im pretty much “yolo” with it but for me and my senior classmen its our year and we deserve to all enjoy it. Tabitha it might be a simple question to ask you but What can i do to make you love me as a brother? To my friends who im mostly talking about in this. Give me the time of day were friends and we shouldnt be scared of each other. If you have something to say then say it. Dont tell me to ask someone else if im asking you. Be real. Dont hide. I dont do this alot but whenever i do its mostly a last resort. Then again you probably wont get this far and i dont blame you. If you judge me i dont blame you. But if you were my friend you would know me. Not to judge me but know me. If i’ve changed in your eyes and you think its bad. Tough luck muuuuh fuccka but i like where i am right now i enjoy the time i spend everyday with friends family sometimes its just fustrating and hard and it just fucking stupid but no one gave us an easy way out an option. If you consider the easy way out an option, get slapped acouple times until you realize your existence matters. Tabitha your growing, your my sister, i love you .. have fun! im sorry i had to interfere … lets live life im sorry i need you as in you need me. please lets not fight anymore. please talk to me. and give me the time of day. im sorry …